Not So Singlia
The feeling I get when it rains perfectly sums up how I feel about life. It’s like relief because the sky gets to release its emotions + happiness because it looks so damn gorgeous when it rains + guilt for being lazy + excitement that worms are going to come out of the sidewalk + love and gratitude for having a roof + frustration because where did I put my umbrella + twirlyness because I just want to be wrapped up in bed.
If none of that makes sense, i’ve gotten my point across.
I’ve been spending my free time lately with one of the friendliest, goofiest, kindest humans this earth has ever seen. He laughs when things are funny, I mean REALLY laughs. There’s no missing it. He cries when things are sad, sleeps when he’s tired, and makes this high-pitched “oooo” noise when he’s excited that I haven’t quite been able to reproduce (yet).
He lives his life without worrying about what to wear to that party or what to do on his next day off or what to say to that person. He just lives it. It’s amazing.
Being single has high highs and low lows for me, it always has and I think it always will. It feels a bit like a rollercoaster, but I like rollercoasters.
What I didn’t realize until meeting my goofy partner is that life doesn’t have to be high highs and low lows. It can be high highs and then just normal happy time. High highs when you get to jump in the lakes or drink a bottle of wine on a canoe. When you run around with a bunch of cows on a farm or ride a dirt bike. When you hold someone else’s baby or start a travel jar and watch it fill up with dolla bills.
Normal happy time when you get up and have a cup of coffee together before heading off on your separate days. When you let the bird out of its cage too early so it screeches until you give it attention or leave the door slightly open so the cat comes in to cuddle in the mornings. Normal happy time when you’re just in the car saying nothing but feeling so happy to be next to that person that you’re just smiling like an idiot until the car next to you gets creeped out.
I haven’t written in a really long time and the truth is, I haven’t felt very inspired to write. Many things have happened both really great and some not so great, but writing to me has always been natural. It hasn’t felt natural to put pen to paper and send it out to the void until today. I have many people to thank for getting me inspired again, so thanks to all of you.
I hope everyone who is where I am is enjoying this emotionally contradictory rainy day. <3
